Hurting Heart

...so what to do and how to move on and not feel so sad. See the week was going so well and then, well then the disappointment. I had asked Justin to bring a school book of his choice to Calif with him. So that his last day here we could work together on it as he would be missing his first day back after spring break. I wanted to help him get his brain back around a school subject as he prepared to return home to Ohio. Well without outlining all the details, he did not pack the book. And, he changed his story several times when responding to my questions. I realize that teens will be teens and I'm sure he's used to his big sister doing so much for him, that he ends up not relying enough on himself (planning ahead, making at list etc). I wish my Dad would have talked to him and sat him down and probed him to see if he understood why his Aunt was so hurt and upset? And coached him toward apologizing. So our last day, instead of going to the neat Birch Aquarium, we just hung around Dad's place. They mostly shot billiards. I took the dogs for a walk - perfect day for my mood: overcast and blustery. And then we watched a movie and ate a frozen pizza.

But I guess what hurts the most is he never thanked me for his trip to California, nor did he thank his Grandpa. Granted our last day was uncomfortable as I was upset about the book incident. But when the time came to say goodnight or good bye as I was heading home and he was staying at Grandpa's, Justin did not even give me a hug or say thank you.

Well, I thought, "maybe in the morning he will call me from his cell phone while at the airport". Nope. He phoned me around 4 in the afternoon to let me know he arrived home safely in Ohio. I told him thanks for letting me know and I waited. There was a long pause. Still nothing! Not a "thanks for everything Aunt Vickie. I really enjoyed myself and had fun sharing all the neat things you showed me."

I remember when he was learning to talk as a toddler and he was taught to say please and thank you....("What's the magic word Justin?")

Now Justin is a good hearted, kind kid. Were his manners really better when he was 5? I love him so much and try to do thoughtful things for him. I bought him a couple shirts while he was here. I purchased a photo album and had a bunch of his photos printed and put them in the album so he would have it to take home... It hurts and makes me feel unappreciated.

We had a great picnic at La Jolla cove the Saturday before he left. Dad and I took the dogs with us and we enjoyed a beautiful day. I guess I need to do what my dear friend advised: "Focus on the good memories." As we had a week full of fun and laughter. "Don't let the last day spoil the previous week of good times you shared with your nephew; nor Justin's inability to express his appreciation, remove the joy that you experienced with him". She is wise and she is right and I will work on this. For now, it just hurts.